opheliaseffigy

NEW LIVE JOURNAL!!

2005-08-27T22:42:33Z

lynn_en_france

and well, it kind of explains itself.

fuck.

2005-08-13T01:29:23Z

so i havent talked to lh in like two weeks. and she wont call me. i feel like i have lost ALL of my friends. AND i am leaving for a foreign country where i BARELY SPEAK THE LANGUAGE and again have no friends.

fuck.

i miss life.

ladies and gents...

2005-08-03T17:10:17Z

i have an intenariary

DELTA AIR LINES INC.

Flight Number :
4428

From:
(ILM)-Wilmington, NC, US
On:
Wednesday, Aug. 24 03:59 PM

To:
(ATL)-Atlanta, GA, US
On:
Wednesday, Aug. 24 05:25 PM

DELTA AIR LINES INC.

Flight Number :
0050

From:
(ATL)-Atlanta, GA, US
On:
Wednesday, Aug. 24 07:15 PM

To:
(CDG)-Paris-Charles de Gaulle, FR
On:
Thursday, Aug. 25 09:40 AM

DELTA AIR LINES INC.

Flight Number :
8560

From:
(CDG)-Paris-Charles de Gaulle, FR
On:
Thursday, Aug. 25 12:40 PM

To:
(SXB)-Strasbourg, FR
On:
Thursday, Aug. 25 01:50 PM

yipeee!!!!!!!!!!!

a laundry list of problems

2005-07-21T06:03:49Z

its 2 am and thundering

my livejournal disgusts me

my xanga disgusts me

i hate the layout

it needs to be changed

2 02 am thunder is brilliant

i really need to be reading

i really need to get in touch with my french family

gymnase jean sturm is elitist

and i will drown around diplomatic children

its 8 03 in france

and 2 03 thunder is bloody brilliant

brunswick county schools are bullshit

2005-07-07T02:03:18Z

http://wwaytv3.com/Global/story.asp?S=3558859

that is all.

god...

2005-07-02T03:09:24Z

i want to feel. i want to write... like everything in my life needs to be documented... and i need moments to grant it those feelings. maybe i taste five seconds of absolute and total superficial joy and try and stack it up against everything else in my life, and when those moments are dull, and i am alone, i revert to them... making me feel alone, and scared. i just want to feel. i want to feel loved. i want someone to call me to see how i am doing. i deserve it damnit. ive cheered up so many people. not to say that others havent helped me. i think i have pushed away the people who truly do help with my constant draining of their spirits. i miss them, and i miss everyday moments. life doesnt have to be filled with extraodinary events every single day. you make your events. anyone want to make some events with me?

please welcome sea witch into your lives

2005-06-29T03:37:53Z

wedensdays plans... yay!

2005-06-28T03:59:44Z

life is crazy.

ok so heres the deal. wed i leave to go to atlanta to get my visa. how sweet of a deal is that?

guess what you guys... im going to france next year. oh and i officialy defer from unca tommorow, do i get to keep my e-mail and facebook?

NEW AIM

2005-06-20T06:11:38Z

thats right- this crazy chick has done it again

lynnie pot pie

add it. or death will not become you... you just wont be able to speak to me. unless i find you. haha!

damn. i write good xanga entries.

2005-06-01T03:03:13Z

self-realization is a bitch

as i am putting together my graduation annoucments to be sent off tommorow- i have realized how many important people i have lost contact with over the years. i went to send one to my former mentor, alas i could not- because i never updated her adress nor do i believe i have the correct e-mail.

and then im going to leave. and who knows who i am going to lose contact with while in asheville. it is eight hours away afterall. and no im not going to boston u or somewhere like that- but it is still scary.

i remember in the beggning of the year i would not think this as hard. i mean, i was never really "understood" in my high school years. i spent many a night alone dreaming my idealistic dreams of getting out of here and finally discovering my idenity.

in this search i have shut people out. never letting them in for fear of attatchement or fear of them discovering my deepest darkest secrets. secrets i myself am afraid to admit. my real journal currently sits tucked away because with it i am not reserved. and everything must come out. here. i can pick and choose without feeling guilty. but there the blank pages scream one by one telling me i must admit- because no one will ever see. i probably could have been more popular- if i had tried.

the truth is- i can not deny the people who have shaped me. nor can i deny this damned town. every one of them. and every experience has changed me. and with this metamorphosis i will soon head out into the microcosom of the real world. and then from there i will really venture out head first. without the safety net of a dorm and a meal plan.

i must go and finish.

do you like my thoughts? then tell me. im whoring myself out for your enjoyment- the least you can do is pay me a penny of comments.

hey!

2005-05-25T16:33:35Z

wow. its been forever. ive become a xanga-whore. i wrote this in there on monday... and i liked it... so here ya go!!! (if anyone still remembers i exist- comment to show me :-)!)

its raning. i enjoy the rain. i need to write. if i have ever been in love like the teenagers my age say they do- i believe i have been in love with writing. it takes over you. consumes minutes, hours, seconds, and you still think its the time you woke up and picked up a pen. i want a love like that. all consuming.

im beggning to think im less immune to people. im beggning to get better? but it creeps up.

like when i saw that certain person in the store today. her sight made my skin crawl. i know she noticed me. she had too. i flew. fight or flight and i flew. she came over to my house yesterday. thats not fair. the house is my property. i forfeited my father goddamnit. you cant take away my house. my father already has. so no. your not allowed to invade my personal property. people have all ready been pre assigned peices of my life. lh has my thoughts. ann has my social life. my father has my physical on earth property. and i own my writing. so go to hell carving out a place for you in the empty space i call my home.

writing is theraputic. as im sure love is. married or people with sustained love partners who have prostate cancer live longer. so what if i have a .0 chance of getting this cancer of the ass. i dont want to feel bad about my nueroses preventing a potential husband dying from prostate cancer earlier and alone.

i wonder if im intresting enough. gaeten says i am. but technically weve only hung out for 48 hours. whatever. see im sad. 48 hours isnt enough to have feelings for someone. well ok. lustful feelings yes. because i have felt them after staring at the beautiful ones. but that doesnt work out. the person is usually 15 years older then you and by job prefrence lives over 2000 miles away. plus youve never seen them in person. so they could be a rat (but never ever jake gyllenhaal.) never ever.

i hate self doubt. i hate two newspaper deadlines on one week. i hate chorus. i bet i would have loved bride and prejeduce.

i get to see my lovely (surly tan) ann straw-berry wed. good day wedensday?

ive bared my soul. comments to console me? or teach me the word beggning- because i have no idea how to spell it.

wow!!

2005-02-14T04:40:11Z

wow- so i love my live journal for two reasons. a- no one on here really knows me (as in sees me everyday) and b- it provides feedback (sometimes....) where as my journal journal does not.

so i have an open ended question....

so i started seeing a therapist last week... and ive already lied to her. how bad is this???? ah. when i wasnt lying to avoid questions. i was a MUTE!!! and i go back on tuesday. mainly because if i dont laura will tell my secret. and that would be bad. and i HATE lying!

so basically my question is- how do i survive the next five required visits? and i know it was only my first vist- but ive been through this cycle many-a-time.

help. please. should i just keep lying? but then everything will catch up.... and i hate opening up. (i will close my eyes as i hit "update")

-lat

god i hate living near the coast.

2005-02-07T04:19:24Z

so im plotting my escape to charlotte. who is here to help me? i really am uber-sad i missed sophies party. i miss everyone like extremely lately. all i have talked about recently is gse. sad. i know.

-lat

saweetness!!!!

2005-02-02T03:19:14Z

Mike,

It will be a pleasure to do a exchange student with you and your district. Tel me you are agree and I will send you the application of my student son as possible.

I think it really an opportunity to raise a best link of friendship between our districts. My district is located in a north East of France close to the border of Germany and Switzerland. This situation gives a chance for your student to discover other country like Germany Switzerland, Austria etc…

Warmest regards

François BORON

Chairman Youth Exchange Program

D 1680 FRANCE

thats whats up.

2005-01-29T21:55:51Z

on april 21 2005 i will be at thalian hall in the SIXTH row seeing the amazing ani difranco. woot. much love to the carolina penguin for getting her AND the indigo girls AND the drive-by truckers and randall bramblett, and every other amazing person they have brought

for wilmington nc's finest www.carolinapenguin.com is whats up!

a waste of skin.

2005-01-16T21:06:42Z

blah. its 25 degrees-ish outside. last week it was in the 60s and 70s. now for those people who havea had 25 degree weather for weeks- or below- im sure you had some acclimation time. it was litarly 65 friday.

and my friend who i was supposed to hang out with today was throwing up in harris teeter yesterday. so i think that rules that option out.

and school doesnt reconvene until wed.

yay. oh wait. i might be lying.

opheliaseffigy @ 2005-01-10T00:37:00

2005-01-10T05:39:14Z

i ended one of my best friendships. beacuse i trusted her too much. how fucked up am i? sorry if youve already heard this rant.

perfect....

2005-01-10T01:22:00Z

You scored as Indie. Indie.

</td>

Indie

92%

Punk and Pop Punk.

88%

Indie Rock

79%

Classic Rock.

75%

Britpop

67%

Ska

63%

Emo & More

63%

Country

54%

Industrial

50%

Hardcore

33%

Mainstream

25%

Hip Hop and Rap

Music Recommendation
created with QuizFarm.com

what kind of hipster am i?

2004-12-22T05:14:42Z

well an intellectual one as you might have guessed. but ill just take the guy in the picture!

You're the Tortured Intellectual!
Take What sort of Hipster are you? today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Personality Test Generator.</p>

You're sensitive, you're emotional, and you wonder why everyone else in the world exists on a different plane. You cannot eat, breathe, or sleep without analyzing each action to death. You're usually sombre, depressed, lethargic, but you can be nearly glad from time to time. You wear whatever you can find on your cluttered bedroom floor. You carry books, notepads, reading glasses with you wherever you go. You have friends, but only a few who truly get where you're coming from. You frequent coffee shops, libraries, and the less crowded bars. You're obsessed with past people, past ideas, past lives. You wish you could die and be reborn as Jack Kerouac.

2004 mini reflection thing

2004-12-22T00:48:17Z

1. What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before?
learned how easy people slip away

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
nope :-(... new years eve came to soon, and i forgot.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
unfourtantly, no. but hopefully this year will bring good luck to those i know who should i have children, and do not.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
nope.

5. What countries did you visit?
italy.

6. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004?
closer, better relationships, without me giving everything, and them nothing

7. What dates from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
easter- seeing the pope on easter
coming back from italy and seeing mikey and katy.
random day in december- the day laura truly helped me

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
governor's school.

9. What was your biggest failure?
people skills :'-(

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
random cold?!

11. What was the best thing you bought?
my new boots.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
laura

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
christy stanley.

14. Where did most of your money go?
coffee, and other people.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
gse '04!

16. What song will always remind you of 2004?
well all the ones i made for laura's compilation

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? sadder.
b) thinner or fatter? fatter.
c) richer or poorer? richer.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
spending time with people who truly matter

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
self-loathing

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
dc- what what?!!

21. Did you fall in love in 2004?
nope.

22. How many one-night stands?
negatory.-ish.

23. What was your favorite TV program?
the west wing. huff.

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
christy

25. What was the best book you read?
house of leaves. jane eyre. reading lolita in teharan. and currently the mists of avalon.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
belly. late i know, yet still great.

27. What did you want and get?
help. in all terms.

28. What did you want and not get?
natalie merchant concert.

29. What was your favorite film of this year?
finding neverland. napolean dynamite. goodbye lenin.

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
nothing. oh wait. it was mardi gras. a french club dinner at a cajun resteraunt. and show choir rehearsal. 17.

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
love.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004?
scene. because i am sad as hell.

33. What kept you sane?
laura and kenzie.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
natalie merchant.

35. What political issue stirred you the most?
dubya winning. throws up and wraps it up to send to dc jan 20th.

36. Who did you miss?
christy stanley.

37. Who was the best new person you met?
kenzie b. ann berry.<-- she gets too because berry is such a great last name. and of course. laura hunter.

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004:
trust in people can be crushed in an instant.

new year resolutions came early this year

2004-11-26T17:18:06Z

i must learn to stop giving until it hurts-- because when it hurts-- it kills

this thanksgiving i am thankful for everyone who has walked over me and made this revelation sooner to come by

la la la

2004-11-24T03:38:07Z

so my best friend laura hunter told me id be a great journalist-- if i could only get over my fear of phones-- and asking people questions... my father told me i was the most selfish person in the universe-- WHERE DOES THAT LEAVE ME?!!!

you win some--- you lose some-- my letter from cape fear for kerry/edwards

2004-11-04T02:24:17Z

Cape Fear for Kerry Edwards
More options 12:18pm (9 hours ago)

To the most wonderful volunteers in the world!

Perhaps you were sad, angry, bewildered or discouraged as you heard the news
of John Kerry's concession to President Bush. In the words of "Meteor
Blades" (from The Daily Kos--read it here: www.capefearforkerryedwards.com),
"it's tough on the psyche to be beaten..."

Having said that, you have accomplished much! Julia Boseman, Ben David,
Dorothy DeShields, and others directly benefited from your support and hard
work. Although Phyllis Gorham was defeated, your efforts on her behalf
resulted in considerable votes.

What a job you did! Over 290 volunteers worked on election day, coordinated
by dozens of tired, but cheerful office folks! 46 precincts covered by over
100 poll workers virtually all day. 276 meals delivered to poll workers by
faithful drivers and runners. Ride after ride given to folks who needed
transportation to the polls. Canvassers knocked on hundreds of doors. Over
20 people were up at the crack of dawn putting up signs. Over 6,000
get-out-the-vote phone calls made in one day! Dozens of voter complaints and
voter requests fielded by the office staff. Major intersections covered by
energetic high school kids and others. And on and on...

So what will we do with our energy, now that the campaign is over? What to
do with Cape Fear for Kerry Edwards?

First, party! As soon as the plans for the Cape Fear for Kerry-Edwards
Post-Election Luau are completed, we'll let you know.

Once again, thank you so very much!

Cape Fear for Kerry-Edwards

sll

I tried- too bad Brunswick County didnt get as many as New Hanover did

BARACK OBAMA and HILLARY CLINTON '08!!!

04...

2004-10-29T00:11:59Z

RED SOX AND KERRY- 04!!

wow!

2004-10-09T00:29:19Z

wow- i havent written in forever- i just got my computer back though so i have an excuse. its cool when everything is wiped off INCLUDING the sound driver.... wait add a "slash" into that and add a not very cool at all :-(

i got 2nd in the wacammaw confrence tournement
i guess thats cool although 1st would be cooler

hmmmm debate tonite

at least one deserving person will get a victory

hmmm i want to live like Rilke- i just need enough money to go into a self-imposed exile

why cant i stand just about everyone??

hmmm